Emptying the bottle inside.

21 years old, no biggie. Just another day. What difference does it make?
Imagine a world without social media. How many people will actually remember your birthday? Is it important enough to shove this piece of information into a safe and secure place in your mind?

I, for one, only remember a handful of birthdays but i always felt that if that has occurred, these people must have been really awesome people in my lives at one point in time or another. Or, their birthdates are easy to remember, ha. I don’t expect anything but i would like to convey my sincere thanks to people who actually remember my birthday, by heart. I choose to believe we added colour to each other’s lives before.

Pondering recently, i realised i am quite inadequate at moulding meaningful, long-lasting friendships.
It might be a self-fulling prophecy whereby i think i won’t be able to build these kinds of friendships, hence i don’t even bother. Well, to be honest, people should know i’m quite reserved at the onset, before i warm up and kong jiao wei. (What’s worst is that in university, the people you spend time with are always rotating) I have certainly proved that jiao wei doesn’t really help in forging close friendships, ha. I’m just lacking a certain solution to propel my friend”ships” and i accept that. Guess my theory personal view about “phases” still hold true to me at least, whereby in different phases in my life, i would always have different people accompanying me through them.
I’m thankful that at least i have those people i meet who i can go “EHHHHH!” even after a long absence.

I just want to say that the gift i want to receive is the acceptance of my appreciation towards the people who made life great, past or present. And hey, if you feel that i’m talking about you, chances are that i am.
Kinda gay, but “不在乎天长地久,只在乎曾经拥有” or simply put “thanks for the memories”?

Disclaimer : Things i’m gonna say might make things awkward if we meet in real life again… but you all can pretend I didn’t mention all these.

Finally, i accept the fact of life that perhaps we might not even be close anymore, you might not even read this, you think i’m creepy or a scumbag friend, or worst, you never even treated me as a friend (LOL) but that’s alright.

So in primary school, i would i really enjoyed hanging out with Felix, Zheng Hao, York Quan. Can’t remember what nonsense we always talk about as kids, but it sounds fun even now.
I remember the P5(?) Malacca Trip where the two scumbags Zheng Hao and York Quan poured ice into my shirt in the hotel room.
I remember that one time when it was pouring and someone said “1,2,3 run for the bus stop” and in the end only Felix and I ran, fun innocence.

Secondary school was crazy fun. Soccer, DotA, CS, Lanshops, just chilling at the mama shop. Fun times with Aloha bros, will always stay as a highlight, will always shadow as a sad loss. Sleepovers at Leon’s, Uther Party at 3am through Skype, Avenue 2 street soccer versus Mats, the Subway meetups after we went to different JCs.

There was that time when MSN was ravenous, and i would always enjoy chatting with the 210 girls when i got home after school. I’m such a cheehong (likes interaction with girls) even then when i had no balls to talk to girls in real life. Pathetic. But hey there’s this one girl that somehow i was really comfortable talking to and we would talk really often, yup Charlene Chan. How she’s such a noob to have to talk to someone over the phone while taking the lift.

Then there’s CO. Don’t look down on CO, guys. It’s really awesome being part of one. Practices leading up to SYF and walking out of school together. Not to mention i like the epicness of dazu. I even remember together we went to watch the Ju Hua Tai show where Gong Li exposed half her breasts. I also remember vividly remember travelling to Chung Cheng all the way from Clementi… with Madeline for the SYF showcase.

Also, bus buddies are great : Allen, Andy, Yijun

I think i opened up alot in JC, i surprised myself. Maybe it’s cause i lost weight and gained self-confidence. OG24 can probably claim title of longest-lasting OG already, having outings even when the OG i was OGL for already died. I think my classmates were nice, perhaps its just i’m a misfit, but i really LOL’ed at those philosophical nonsense like “do chickens have sex?” and random predictions about LCC’s life and enjoyed Xavier’s company and his “brownian motion”. Also had an awesome class bus buddy who i can talk nonsense with : Cheryl. Alot of people take 961 also, 961 for the win.

I think the girls tried their best to make the class cohesive already, great job! Remember going to Aihua’s house at night after school to surprise her birthday and also the awesome benefits of having a birthday close to Victoria, cause when people celebrate her birthday they’ll side-celebrate mine HAHA. I remember got this period where they link me and Vic as husband and wife? Epic lame.

I joined Student Council, don’t know why, didn’t regret. 同甘共苦 at its best, although i was rather laxing at times…Glad that the council clique still so tight! Open Day people, really thank you guys for putting up with my inadequacy at that point, I always felt i let Mr Tan down :/

Hockeys cocksters, miss George? Nope, I don’t miss KB’s aroma after training also. Not bad though, i was amazed i stuck through it, must be the company.

And to the people that stayed in the boarding school, i know that feel… respect to us all. I remember this series of taupok footage…

In JC, i finally grew balls to confess, first time failed (HAHAHA, but you were really a great friend) but it turns out that having Monica is probably the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

JC is where i really met alot of nice people, people who would smile and say “hi” every time even though we haven’t talked much. I’m thankful for those random moments : Chemistry tuition with Emily, OGLing and wthecking with Elizabeth, KFC with Vanessa, playing squash in between break with Xavier, going commando vocational test with Hsiangwei, Titanic scene with Zikai, crashing Joshua’s and Lionel’s class for P.E or to hang around like a nomad with and more. I also apologize for that whoever had to bear with my uncanny addiction of 新不了情 and also when i had to sing ‘Inilah’ at the podium mic with my astounding voice.

Army people, previously already dedicated to you bros Mohawk Platoon 2 Section 3, SCS Delta Platoon 2, AI (Gunnery), AI Permstaff and all the best to the trainees and cadets i taught(smoked) : https://www.facebook.com/notes/goh-song-ko/enlisted-and-1-year-and-10-months-later/10151411720169888

I think the bond between the instructors is really up there, having slept with each other for like a year. Faggot Deon still remains uncontactable. Glad to still be hanging out with Brandon most of my solitary life and hanging out with Marcus and Winston every now and then in university.

On a side note, i think what Warrant Bernie said was true, I really will never forget the birthday where he specially bought a cake for me and Darren in camp. Warrant Bernie, all the best to you!

Haha, Yizhang and Kevin made work so much more enjoyable despite the “hidden” dangers lurking around.
Plus all the controversial debates we had. Zai.

SMU has been alright for me, luckily i am immune to solitude, cause fate hasn’t crossed me with many friends. Maybe it’s me, ha. Quite a lot of familiar faces here, but c’mon, everyone has their own stuffs to be busy with. Met cool people through FTB and Bondue, though we might not really have hit it off. I’m thankful for how i somehow registered for Uni-Y and how Bullseye bonded so well, could it be the amazing facis? HAHA, anyhow, i really hope we can continure to hang out together and catch up after this stressful period or something. Also fun times with the Strategica. Hopefully fun times with CO and Floorball in the future too. Right, and i’m thankful for Brandon for being alone-buddies

Looking forward to the rest of SMU!

Of course i won’t forget Monica, who’s always there for me.

“alone but not lonely”



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